My Quiet Noise

twothousand9..may it be a better three6five.

2009-01-01T00:23:00.004+08:00

pleasure is melting like chocolate
my blue ribbon gumption is gone
all my gravy must have soaked into something
and the world...
the filthy steps, the cold concrete
the phony earth below my feet
the ancient odor of the streets
yes the world it is a sponge
and when the crisis passes
when the coast is clear
I'll be buffed down to a liquid
and the world it is a sponge
throughout this entire ugly outing
I've been mumbling the convex of what I should be shouting
but I'll soon be silent you'll soon hear nothing
'cause the world it is a sponge - r.e.m (sponge)

Brand new year..brand new filofax..

2008-12-28T17:11:00.005+08:00

brand new blog site (hopefully)...but, stuck with the same 'ol resolution. you know the drill: "i wanna..."

Curtain Call..

2008-12-13T23:28:00.002+08:00

It felt so good to just be in the silence..

My Sweetheart the Drunk.

2008-03-23T04:35:00.003+08:00

I couldn't agree any less when it comes to american idol 7 being the best season of all. If you've been following the phenomenal foreign talent show, and have the appreciation for rock music...then you're getting my drift somewhere on this.

but it was two weeks ago, when jason castro sang 'hallelujah' that got my heart all curled up in emotion.

it was a sentiment moment for me. from the time i fell in love with buckley's music..to the day that every buckley's fans mourned his lost.

it was just 'that' moment.

a moment that jason castro and 'hallelujah' shared just a speck amount with.

as for whom i am rooting for...well, he brought a major melt down to 'bohemian rhapsody'.

RIP, J.B.

Peek-a-Boo-hoo-hoo..

2008-02-06T23:54:00.000+08:00

...and i miss you too!

utilising myself.

2007-12-25T18:59:00.000+08:00

couple of weeks ago, i had a night out with the devil. my cuzzie Ana...consumer of men, destroyer of patience and the founder of the 'Drive Your Cousin to Insanity' cult.

standing at 1.66 meter plus probably another 4 inches from my wedgies, i should be sticking out like a sore thumb among the crowds, well at least...

but, it was Ana, who was all 1.53 meter, was the more noticeable one..why you ask?

well, Ana, who used to be so extremely prim and proper, and more than often made me looked extremely wicked in comparisons, came with an absolutely provocative outfit. and by provocative, i mean, ya, provocative!

and with all the booberexia out there, women included, kept staring at her.. ehem, racks, i was undeniably feeling awkward at some points..but i managed to apply anough melancholy in my soul to make me appear interesting for the rest of the night.

so after a good dinner, and some natterings about our perfectly imperfect lives, we decided to spend the rest of our moolah at the Pump Room.

ok..so there were loads of cuties and hotties that night. but the married me was too busy enjoying the bands play, while the devil flirted with whomever that takes the form of a man.

as i was watching Ana getting cozy with one of the bartenders, i can't help but smiled, relishing the good old single me days..

and that's when it strucked me..i am getting older for the club scene. or maybe, i just allow myself to get and to feel old. and that's when i realised too, i missed the unmarried me. it just felt like the end of an era for me at that moment..

sheesh...

then, some days ago, i was asked by the same devil for my new year's resolution...being fickle and weak-willed when it comes to things like this, i just answered her back about wanting to lose some weights, as losing weight has become some sort of an addictive neurosis and not to mention the default resolution year after year...

but i knew i have more resolutions if not hopes for this coming new year.

what do i hope for if not for the best of health for my beloved aunt whom recently
been diagnosed with breast cancer.

what do i hope for if not the best for my family and friends alike.

what do i hope for if not the best for myself..

so it's not just losing weight after all that i want.

i want more.

the night out with Ana made me want more.

i was not only allowing myself to get old, but i allow myself to get bored.
bored of living in a pretend adulthood for too long.
bored of trying to feed every soul around me but left mine famished.

so for this coming new year, i shall leave no chance for any resolutions to slip in. what i have are just hopes and prayers for us, for everyone.

today, 359 days later, i am so glad that i'm still alive to able to wish you, my blog friends and readers a splendid year ahead. it's been a pleasure knowing all of you guys...

salut, slackers!!

internet friendly.

2007-11-23T06:25:00.000+08:00

I'm back to my insomnia filled nights again..i wonder, how the hell my (dark-circled) eyes can take all this shit from me..

after reading for 4 hours straight of bohjalian's and practically trying to finish the book...some party pooper was complaining about the light being too bright,shessh..

so here i am on the computer again, doing the whatnots...

apart from being physically wrecked with super puffy eyes to match later, which will be much to my absolute chagrin...i seriously have no complains otherwise.

not that i've been under any caffeine influences of late, due to my major gastritic problem, so that wasn't the supposing default reason, but like someone had mentioned, i am 'the nocturnal'. self-explanatory.

(and right now, for some reason, i'm craving for mcdonald's french fries..female hormone is tragic!!)

ok, since we're at this,(i know this is not worth mentioning, but the last time i checked, this is my muthafucking ranting space), let me list out some things that i love, which you too can possibly relate to!

Mcdonald french fries

please don't argue with me on this, with or without the female hormone, McD's fries does not need a reason for most suckers to indulge on it..

Coffee

some loathe it..but being an anal for my cuppa, i just have to give it a missed for the time being, but i did cheat and had a cup last saturday..that was the last one, i swear..

Ayam goreng (read: fried chicken)

I can eat this every day if not for the high calories, cholesterol, and whatever unhealthy contents it has...

Lingeries

anything but panties for me..;P

Dark chocolate

be it cakes, ice-creams, bars, smoothies, whatever else, my sugary treats has to have chocolates in/on 'em...the darker, and the bitter..the better!

Nail polish

being a ~~woman~~ wifey, i need to have this...why, to cover my kunyit-ed nails.i don't keep a wide hues range for my nail polishes, they're all in, what i called, the zen hues...from jet black, to browns and nudes...

and, last but not least...(coz my motivation on continuing typing on this subject is slacking..)

Cold pillow

i can flip my pillows a gazillion times just to find the cold spot..and this includes my comforter as well..speaking of which, i should be getting my rest now, hopefully someone didn't warmed-up my pillows, chet!

thanks for layan-ing this. ~~pig~~ peace out!

forgiving and forgetting you..

2007-11-22T08:39:00.000+08:00

When it’s over, it’s over.

The harsh reality is, sometimes, when it’s over - the memory has to be over too. And that is the hardest part.

Not the loss of a friendship, of a person, of a relationship..

The hardest thing is having to let go of the memory.You can’t erase the memories entirely, but you can decide whether you want to look at them, celebrate them, rue them, or shut them away in the dark recesses of your mind.

I am tucking you away...

school's out.

2007-11-18T12:01:00.000+08:00

oh dear, somehow the long hiatus proved to be too long..*blush*

i was superbly busy revising with my girls during the examination period, and boy am i glad that all their hard work did pay off. Their results are better than mid-term's. so ya, i am satisfied...told you, some mr fancy pants will do the trick, hur hur..

and now let us embrace this one-month long vacation...

we started the first weekend break by bringing the four spongee-squarebutts for a swim yesterday morning before heading to vivo city at noon, and of course all the travelling are made possible if not for my dearest sister's company.
(and you think after four kids, i should have been a pro in handling them kiddos in public...hell no! i can collapse and die on the spot, i tell you!)

even with my sis around, i still manyak feening, and i think my sis was too..(tengok je la gambar kita tu, betul da macam amah china, ambik gambar pun tak betul..kesian! ;P)

so now, let me cram the remenants of a ‘feel-better’ cream puffs into my mouth, while mentally plan out what are we to do for next weeks to come...you go ahead and enjoy the sexy sunday!

busy me.

2007-11-05T09:23:00.000+08:00

Relaxlah...i'mHAVINgfatFingeRs.

pouting season.

2007-10-23T09:46:00.000+08:00

if you're a parent, a student or an educator (read: ADD people), this is the period where the amount of stress accelerates up your body function.

the best adrenalin i must say....the exam period!

loads of screaming. loads of sulking. loads of revising's been happening in the household. so, yup, syawal is officially over for us...time to get done with the final lap of the year.

thanks to mr. fancy pants, mp3, you've been a great bribing source for inducing the girls' motivation!

hep! naughty ~~parent~~ me!

iPressure.

2007-10-18T15:33:00.000+08:00

I feel so silly for writing the previous post, but it brings a lot of balance to my life, somehow..;P

i should cut down my reading on truewifeconfessions.period.

and right now, the pressure is on to write something terribly clever.

(long pause)

ahhh..erm..

i think that i shall leave it at that.

my dear husband..i have one more secret.

2007-10-17T11:48:00.000+08:00

This post has already been sanitised thoroughly.99% safe to read.

[Karen]: i like it they way they are...

[Me]: but your husband didn't...

(for your info, Karen is a newly wed)

[karen]: your husband, does he likes it?...

[Me]: er..i guess, so far no complain...

[karen]: you see, why other husband can accept that but mine can't...

[Me]: because his wife have dark curlies on her cooch..hahahaha!

[Me]: hahahaha!

[karen]: nabei!! you shave huh?

[Me]: e v e r y d a y...i like it all smiley, fuss-free...hahaha!aiyoh..just shave it off la, he happy...and you will be...

[karen]: fuck!

(moving on...)

[Me]: so, did you finally 'fess up to him that you were once a hooter's girl during a school vacation?..hahahaha. it's so fuckin' gonna be a joke of the day!

[karen]: if he's gonna take that as a joke...if not, i hang myself! hahaha..

[karen]: have you ever confessed anything extreme so far...

[Me]: everything's done with baby...!

(somewhere this period, i excused myself to the bathroom.changed my sanitary pad, and bam!)

[Me]: eh you know what, i think there's something else he doesn't know...

[karen]: awww-horrrr...what is it!!!

[Me]: fuck, i'm not gonna tell you..i didn't even tell my hub about it..doh!

[karen]: you pregnant again??!!

[Me]: hell no...even if i am, it should be his, so what so secret about it...!

[karen]: then, tell me!!

[Me]: just don't laugh..

[karen]: can't promise...

[Me]: i

[Me]: wear

[Me]: my hub's un..der..wear...???!!!

(i could see her laughing her heads off on the web cam!

hahaha.i laughed too.haha.i stopped laughing.i realised what a fuckwit i am...not really actually!)

[karen]: be..cause...you.. don't.. have.. panties of your own? (and this fucker is still laughing!)

[Me]: exactly!! i mean, not totally...

(hahahahahah!)

[karen]: have you decide to grow anything yet in that UNDERWEAR??! hahahaha...

[Me]: wei! i only borrow em' when i'm having my menses la...i don't have a lot of panties...and i don't use tampon, else it will be fine with all the thongs...

[karen]: maybe you should start considering buying a few?...hahahaha

[Me]: you have no idea how comfortable his renoma's dri-fit underwears are...

[karen]: dri-fit summore...

(hahahahaha!)

............

eid mubarak.

2007-10-13T04:11:00.000+08:00

at 4:33 am right now, boy i am glad i finally get to settle down from hours of doing all the whatnots.and right now i am shuffling in between doing this and playing a game of blackjack over at facebook, and nevermind that i have to do all this with a single hand coz my other are still wet with nail polish..hur..hur.

ok, i'm gonna do a jiffy one on this...

so this raya we are celebrating as a family of six, which i'm pretty sure many will try to avoid bumping onto our family as much as possible because of the number of comrades we have..;P. but anyways, i am glad that here we are again, able to celebrate another raya together.(thank allah!)

nevermind that my nails are not professionally menicured, nevermind that i don't spot a new hairdo, a new pair of shoes, or whatever elses this year....at this very moment all i wanted is to be fully recovered.

being sick on a festive occasion is no fun. ):

hopefully i'ld be able to brave the day and let the kiddos have as much fun as they deserve...ya, i should...(skipping on our yearly tradition of playing with the whistling sparklers on raya's eve made me feel so guilty already!)

and as for you, my dear muslim friends and readers, have a great hari raya...maaf zahir & batin. and to the rest, enjoy the weekend!

you're the moment.

2007-10-09T09:17:00.000+08:00

and dad, as always,....weyou!

And that's sinful..!

2007-10-03T09:47:00.001+08:00

i just finished cooking lunch for the kiddos which will also be reserved for our iftar later this evening...

yup, nasi lemak, no less!

Momentary Lounging.

2007-10-02T04:12:00.000+08:00

Till i get rid of the last lazy bug....

Don't Blame Your Daughter.

2007-09-24T19:47:00.000+08:00

Although she speaks the language with her struggling chee-na accent,my mom has absolutely no problem with comprehending and conversing in malay, which, used to amazed my friends a lot actually.But the amusing part is, she sucked big time in her own language, which is, chinese.

Being raised in an english speaking environment, with loads of ang-mohs for neighbours, i think my maternal grandparents must have been a couple of snobbish chee-na pricks for not cultivating their own culture and language strongly to their kids.

And because i am me, i often blamed my mom for not taking the initiative in learning them. At least i know i did....(somehow)

PS: all graphic sources are from the web, ain't mine. Lovin' and missin' ya mummy.

Bad Boysss..put your hands up!

2007-09-21T20:26:00.000+08:00

ahhh..the hype over John Molina is still in the air. first it was my sis who called me within minutes after 'Live the Dream' was on...

kak, John molina still look so handsome, eh!..

ahh, he's not really that good looking lah but he's sexy..

and the conversation ended as soon as it started...

And today, i received a call in the afternoon from my cuzzie Uji, saying the same thing! Except, our convo was an elaborated one as we reminisced back to the time when we were, ehem, ~~John Molina~~ local bands crazy!! (and we weren't even groupies...i swear!)

The very first time we saw Molina performed was at a family carnival. Trust me on this, no one except this two 13year old kids, clad in dirty jeans and some skinny t's, were paying attention to the band playing.Not many knew about the band back then, as they were one of the new kids on the block.

Molina, all lanky with wispy long hair, was one amicable bloke, he came up to us and thank us for ~~saving the bands' dignity~~ being great audiences.We chatted for a bit and before we said our goodbyes, he invited us to watch the band perform at ANA hotel.And the rest, like they said, was history...

If there's anything that me and my cuzzie shared in common, it would be the genres of music that we listen to, and the other would be the type of men that makes our toes curled (before we were 16 years old) and moist somewhere (i donno since when..!).

If i am to reduce all of the above into a sentence, we just love sexy SOB who holds 'em microphone well! (it would be an added bonus if he has an instrument on him (no pun here), and screams, "Rock on!").

Tragically, neither of us ended up marrying any of those men. At the moment, we both wakes up to a non tattooed, non musician husbands who followed closely to the Kanye West and 50 Cents record sales battle! (if any of you suckers care to know, Kanye won, btw!)

Opposite attracts you say..maybe..but good boys finished last don't you think?

You see, boys like Molina and others of his ilk are the ones that was created for us to lust on. And thank god for them, today, we get to boast about how we even get to ~~fuck~~ date them. And by the ilk of Molina, he does not necessarily be the boy on stage.He just needs to be the one that goes around breaking many good girls hearts, the ones on bikes, the ones with scars, the narcissists... in short, just the ones that your mom warned you about. The ones that we called The Bad Boys!

so what's with these baddies that we love so much about, hey some didn't even come with a good look, mind you.

Bad boys equals ~~better sex~~ excitement.They mesmerized us women with their daringness, attitude and confidence which something that the good boys lack on either one or the other.

Believe me, if John Molina was a bloke with center parting hair, wears a tapered green pants, goes to HMV to purchase the compilation record of Barry Manilow...haha, you'll peel your eyes blind!

yours truly, the dorky rocker panda!

The Not So Sweet Escape.

2007-09-13T17:41:00.000+08:00

I received this from Ibrahim over at Friendster last night...i edited a winsy bit though.

Didn't Forget to Remember.

2007-09-13T07:19:00.000+08:00

This blog is slowly becoming an humdrum one. For the past couple days i've been struggling at this very 'create' page. I blame tv.. coz it is more exciting than my insipid writing...or life...nah, both actually.

I'm gonna leave the water running again still, not ready to turn off the pipe yet.

confession of a virgin home-maker..

2007-08-14T22:57:00.000+08:00

how, eh?

if men are from mars, women are from venus, what 'bout in-laws, yo?

2007-08-13T00:56:00.000+08:00

from hell some say..haha, we have heard all kinda versions to where the in-laws belong. But, some things they never tell you as to why in-laws can be such a pain in the erm, let's settle for neck here shall we?

Today i shall let you listen, in my acoustic prose of my loves and loathes for my in-laws...(you know, it's nice to be able to wade in my life, immerse my arms in it, touch it, and now try sharing it with you guys...ahh, too sensitive of a subject, but i'll try!)

i remembered, when i was first married to the family, i was slowly reduced to a morose and monosyllabic person.Adapting to being away from my family had spiralled my life into an abysmal misery.i cried most nights, i called my mom every day and then i cried again...damn, i was such a fuckwit. But i was allowed to be.
Because....

(now we're about to enter reason number one, which is also the utmost reason as to why some think that they do have in-laws that are really from hell!)

1)MY FAMILY IS SO DIFFERENT FROM THEM.LIKE TOTALLY!(ok, i exaggerated a lil there.)
find shadows of yourself here? there's no denial, we human tends to compare.And no matter how we did it, we would always end up giving the trophy to our own family!And i do have many reasons for doing so, but hey, in-laws may read, later kena outcast..

I stayed with my in-laws for a good one year before we finally got ourselves a place.And you thought that must be such a relief for me, but that's where you're wrong.What do you know, the husband got ourselves a place which was just a flat away!

2)MY HUSBAND IS THEIR MOST BELOVED SON.
so now you get a clearer picture as to why we moved so close to one another eh.
of course i was upset in the beginning, but it wasn't as bad as i thought, coz i get to know my in-laws better afterwards.But at the same time too, i wasn't feeling better for myself.I felt so distance away from being myself.I lost ME.i missed being ME.And i felt so much worst when the husband was constantly not on my side.If Lorena had 'bobbitted' her husband for not giving her much needed orgasm, i could have 'bobbitt' my husband for being their beloved son!

3)MY LIFE WAS CHOREOGRAPHED AND SCRIPTED.
it all began since i had my twins.I was told to dress up like a mother should.which in another word means, transforming my wardrobe to look like it belonged to a 40 year old hag! i looked like one too..i was not allowed to dye my hair, polish my nails yada, yada.
ahhh, those days, pleasing the in-laws had sucked Marlina away from the fun zone.But did they have to be this extreme? couldn't god settle for just mildly awful?...i wondered.I do have my life too you know.6

4)MY LIFE.MY HOUSE.MY KIDS....MY RULES!
have you ever been criticized on your nurturing technics towards your little ones? or how your home decor should or should not be? unless you're married to an orphan, you should have gone through this. i accept and understand that one can't be good at everything, and i am tragically unskilled in some important areas..but it would have been nice if they could have spared the criticisms and and try to support you on the rules and regulations that you have set for your kiddos. (ei; i do not allow my kids to drink sodas, dear in-laws!!, and yes, i still like my home decor in dark to neutral range, dear in-laws !!).

Today, after eight years in the family, we learnt each other well.Along the way, i decided enough is enough.i figured, in order for my in-laws to know me better is for me to be ME...the one with colored hair and nails, the one with a little cleavage showing, the one that speaks her minds out.On top of it all, the one that loves their son as much, the one that will be running to them for advices and comforts and the one that adores them terribly.

And if you think, going against their dislikes was disrespectful on my behalf...you're wrong again. Both my parents-in-law have since dyed their hair..and my mom-in-law was once even cool enough to pick a low cut blouse for me. ;P

So, whoever says in-laws are from hell?..well, sometimes they can be, no doubt about that, yo!

only 4 reasons? i must be kidding!

Hey YOU!!

2007-08-10T19:59:00.000+08:00

Just a quick update here..nope i'm not back..not really..not now!

Ok, so two months gone since i last updated.Since then of course whole loads of goods and bads happened.

The good,
1} we finally got back our cpu and monitor with everything restored back nicely into the system.
2) remember the hoo-haa about the Boyan wedding? Yup, my cuzie finally, like FINALLY got married.Here's the pic..

3) tried cracking my brain thinking the goods but, hmmm...don't have anymore lei!!

now, The Bad (in parallel with the goods),
1) after setting aside $500 for an entire month, we finally get to pay the serviceman for the computer, but like cancer, Starhub's a motherfucker too!
2) ok, the Boyan wedding...one word...DISAPPOINTMENT.
3) to think of it, i do have more bad occurances than the goods but i shall stop at that.

Lastly, the good and the bad,
miss ya!!

dear marlina, the earth says "hello!"

2007-06-05T02:06:00.000+08:00

so there was no raunchy sex that night,nor any of the following nights after.i was in fact confined to bed for the past couple of days due to this muthafucking whatnot in my tum-tum.

looking at the unruly state of the house has become and the clothes in the laundry basket that had almost concealed the basket itself, it was just so impossible for me not to yield from the comfort of the bed today.
i thought the Titanic was pretty much a neater disaster than my home!

so that's what happened when wifey's sick...the husbern returned to his hypothetical martian-self, lost in the world of, ahh..earth! hur..hur..
and on top of it too, i had to feed myself a meal, which i haven't been able to consume of late, even the bland fishball noodle from Banquet proved to be absolutely tantalizing!!

(and yay! *bimbo shriek* i've lost a total of 5kg yo!)

Diarrhoea anyone??
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

just today, i've been scouring the web (singapore) for this movie.(it's a biopic of Darby Crash and the band Germs, if you care.)
and nada!! yup, singapore sucks, i know.

i've been looking forward for its release since last year. so anyone, who has any information about it or know where about i can get my hands on this, feel free to drop me a mail...(again, if you care.)

maybe i should just call Budi up and ask him to do that favour, probably it has been release in states, it should be...

over-rated, but i still insist on telling you this again...it just sucks to be me sometimes!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

okie, so we know, the latest hype is about the upcoming Christina A's concert here.
I put on a wicked smirk when i first learnt about it.Not that there's anything wrong with Christ A's arrival but, i was thinking, is that the best that our island could offer us in terms of entertainment?

(ok, so singapore had those cabaret dancers here before, but we all know that was a joke, the place had to be shut down shortly after.)

Now that aside, let's talk about concerts held here before...which's the most notorious concert that had ever took place?

And because this is me giving my two cents here, and after thinking hard, my realisation reached my zenith...the answer is None!!

So we had Coldplay, Beastie Boys..but so what? My question was, "the most notorious concert". Coldplay (ahh..i regretfully had to give their concert a miss coz i was heavily pregnant at that time!), they were not even near notorious!

Beastie Boys..their's was not even a concert to begin with, it was more like a touch-and-go kinda performance during the Good Vibrations night at Fort Canning (and again, we had to give it a missed coz tickets were fuckin' sold out!!)

So there you go, my fellow none singaporean readers, that's how pathetic our entertainment limits here in singapore.Even our Malaysian friends had fun with Good Charlottes' visit recently.

In all, Anon ( it pisses me off sometimes not knowing who you are), i shall take back my words, it was not diarrhoea that sucked the fun out of me, but the country of my birth did!!

The good and bad.

2007-06-02T15:39:00.000+08:00

The good thing about being sick is, you'll get ample of attentions.And no doubt, i can be an attention brat sometimes.Like Budi used to mention, i do have the ADHD (read: attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) syndrome just like him (eh?).

just last night, god knows, how many times i got up to the toilet.Not only did the cold and fever had done enough damage, but adding to my miserable state, i'm having diarrhoea as well! Not a totally bad thing either...i've managed to lose a solid 3kg during this "ordeal". Not bad huh? (ok, ok, so we know it's just water weights..boo hoo hoo!)

so today, apart from receiving loads of hugs and kisses and oh so sweet, sweet text messages from the husbern, my mom in law came and brought me galores of foodies plus more hugs and kisses!!Not just that, she too brought the kiddos back with her so i can have my full rest, and ehem, hopefully with the kiddos absence, me and hub can have a raunchy sex tonight so i can get even better (in order for that to happen,is to totally depend on how well the bowel system can get, sheesh!).

oh ya, btw, have any of you tried the 'What your name means' test? i had fun going about it.Tho' it did freak me out initially, on how a simple and uncertain web test could turned out to be 3/4 correct!! (yay! pardon me, i was born a blonde!)

so what shit am i gonna ramble babble about today?

Yo, the never ending topic of Fandi's upcoming wedding!!
cousins been calling and emailing me about it.Yup, so it is gonna be like the wedding of the year for my paternal's family.Being a true blue Boyanese they are, (well, i'm not, in case some of you doesn't know this yet, my mom's a chinese, so that makes me,erm..oh well,Boyan also lah! told ya, i was born blonde!) i somehow smell the hip hurrah (the bad ones)surrounding the event.

Been there, done that, i thought some of the people involved are much more mature in this area, would render motivating advices for the groom and bride to be instead of stressing them further.And most important of all..spend and do beyond their means.So what if it's not gonna be a grand one?

A valid concern, but how can anyone not see that the answer is incredibly simple? Marriage is a union between two people. Plain, simple, done. Next issue pur..lease!

So, my dear boyan family, what's all the ruckus about?

This is the reason why i just don't really like adults sometimes, because adults can be a lecherous creature.I'm a bit of a kid at heart.Not that I'm childish or whatever, but I just like to keep that girl inside of me. I don't wanna let it die.And why do you think i never let rock n roll died away from me, why did Nirvana wrote a song "smells like teen spirit"? coz it's just so juvenile.Life is.so, relax, take it easy, will ya all?

I knew if i ever gonna let that inner kid, that teen spirit in me die, then maybe that's gonna be the time i start listening to Barry Manilow.

Rock 'n' roll is all about emotions.

- Lester Bangs

Marlina..just marlina, coz it represents me best.

2007-06-02T02:15:00.000+08:00

Marlina

There are 7 letters in your name.
Those 7 letters total to 32
There are 3 vowels and 4 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:German Female Variant of Madeline 'Woman from Magdala.
English Female Variant of Marlene, derived from Madeline: Woman from Magdala.

Your number is: 5

The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom.

The expression or destiny for #5:
The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker.

If there is too much of the 5 energy in your makeup, you may express some the negative attitudes of the number. Your restless and impatient attitude may keep you from staying with any project for too long. Sometimes you can be rather erratic and scatter yourself and your energies. You have a hard time keeping regular office hours and maintaining any sort of a routine. You tend to react strongly if you sense that your freedom of speech or action is being impaired or restricted in any way. As clever as you are, you may have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again because much of your response is glib reaction rather that thoughtful application. You are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests.

Your Soul Urge number is: 11

A Soul Urge number of 11 means:
With the 11 Soul Urge, much of your thinking and interests relate to the abstract, the spiritual, and utopian dreams. You are motivated toward idealistic concepts, and the sharing of your ideas and concepts with humanity. This number is not one that is giving in a material or a practical sense, but rather one who desires to help mankind with a more abstract commodity such as religion, spiritualism, occult studies, or even psychic abilities. (i feel so John Lennon!)

If you possess the positive 11 Soul Urge traits, you have a dream of the perfect world; you are highly idealistic and inspirational. Your inner strength and devotion to your beliefs are extremely strong. You have a very good mind that is especially well equipped to handle the higher, more abstract forms of thought.

If there is an excess of 11 energy in your makeup, you may possess some the negative 11 traits. There is a tendency for the 11 to produce considerable amounts of nervous tension which is bought on by a very high level of awareness. You may be too sensitive and overly emotional. In some cases, these sensitivities and emotions are quite repressed, and this tends to add even more to the sense of nervousness in the makeup.

The strong 11 is not a very practical person because of the extreme idealism; often, there is a degree of self-deception present. There is usually a rather fixed idea of right and wrong held by those showing strong 11 traits, and with this very often is a resulting attitude of inflexibility.

Your Inner Dream number is: 3

An Inner Dream number of 3 means:
You dream of artistic expression; writing, painting, music. You would seek to more freely express your inner feeling and obtain more enjoyment from life. You also dream of being more popular, likable, and appreciated.

Thank You, Sri!

aaa-chooo!

2007-06-01T17:15:00.000+08:00

Fever..Cold
i hate 'em!

38.4 deg! just a meagre degree hike and i'm feeling fucking terrible. And the paracetemol ain't working at all..and i've taken like 6 tabs at a go!

Was on Friendster awhile ago, and my account was acting all funny..bah!

I've deleted few of the contacts in there, ya, the so called "friends"..those "friends" that just have a shitty motives of just looking at the pictures sake!!

I wonder how people can have like over hundreds of "friends" in their account.I bet most of them ain't even a friend to begin with.
And i am so specially disgusted at some of the younger girls potraying their "tetek" more than themselves. (dah macam tengok ads for escorts services)

I am NOT a bit sorry if my use of words doesn't suit your verification.But i am sorry that i fucking care. Coz i do have a sister,and daughters just as any of you, you and you.It's sad. You can tell that those poses are purposely done for? what? popularity intentions?

Whatever it is..i've more important things to worry about.Maybe i am too fuddy-duddy for all this matter.I'm out shitheads!

the two loudest words.

2007-05-31T16:46:00.000+08:00

u r sweeter... than coffee with sugar and creamer..i wish ya...heaven n love to come in between ya.. ill never....let my angel leave her, cuz shes the sweetest song in my cd player..for every word she makes me believe her, to take your pain i wanna.....n show u what love really means and its not bitter, i wanna play u like a guitar..n strum your chords cuz im a believer..someone so beautiful as u came closer.....for me if i had a chance..i will be her lover.

u-huh!

2007-05-31T15:16:00.000+08:00

Looks like the previous post doesn't go down well with some.I had better remove it, before this ranting space of mine becomes a debate ground!

Happy holiday everyone!

Trophy Wife??

2007-05-31T05:53:00.000+08:00

or not!!!

so someone (you know who you are) used to call me "~~Miss~~ Universe", coz' my hubba-bubba used to (still does, actually!) check on me 24-7.

He breathes down my neck,really:

check on my handphone (ni biasa la..kita pun check jugak!)

no sexy clothes/cleavage allowed

(waddahell,kalau tetek dah nak terkluar tu nak kata ape...!)

no talking/chatting/ogling at guys!(kenapa lah, jodoh dekni tak dengan orang buta/bisu je?)

calls me umpteen times when i'm out!(boleh meletup handphone!)

bitch too much(guys are better bitch than women are.FACT.)

ask too many of a question whenever i trim my eyebrows ke, shave bulu jembut ke, dye rambut ke, made myself up ke and wotever la.(Rimas!!)

Ok, so the list can go on forever..tak bedek, laki aku ni macam siak kekadang!
yes, i am mad.
I just lost a friend because of my hubster's profoundly absurd jealousy?!
Being married for eight years, i thought that thing should be of the past.
He should have known me better.

Why are husberns such a pest sometimes?

Fuck, i need to drown myself in a pool of shit so he will keep his distance.But wait, i don't want that either.

I do want him to breathe down my neck(huh?)
Contradicting i know.

But, most married women who shared my sentiments, will agree with this..

There are times you wish you never met him.
You wish that he will just disappear.
You screamed "divorce" i donno for how many times now.
But, all at the same times, you're loving it and that's when you go back to being stupid again.(by "stupid", i mean,ya..you know what i mean!)

Reap that fruit.

2007-05-28T22:29:00.000+08:00

Today too, my bro in law, Budi left for States to pursue his dreams.Wish you all the best bro.Please don't let the devastating hap upset you, be relieved, for at least you managed to see her for the last one.

PS: Don't forget to buy me the magnets!

Al-fateha

2007-05-28T21:50:00.000+08:00

After a long battle with nostril cancer, Aunty Asmah finally succumbed today at 0315hrs.The best aunt-in-law i've ever had, Aunty..you'll forever be missed by us.

May your soul rest in peace.Amin.

iHear.

2007-05-27T22:24:00.000+08:00

just few nights back we had (yet) another arguments about my choice of songs.He simply could not understand why the damn hell i downloaded arrays of angry/oldie/weird songs and made his file all jammed up with them.

while my husband is more into those hippity-hoppity kinda songs, i listened more to anything other than his kind.I've nothing against black music, in fact, i love black music.But,in another genre...

Personally I used to listen to Eminem’s(ok, so he's not black, i know. But he sings blacks' songs.Duh!) music with pleasure. The lyrics seemed so exotic and the message so warped, that it was hard for me to imagine this is anything other than a fair satire, farse and leg-pulling (as is the case in the Borat movie). Not to mention his knack for rhymes and musical savvy. Musically in his day he brought a lot of innovation into the mainstream industry, innovation that even now is difficult to imitate. He definitely is an interesting artist (which Moby had justfully acknowledged).Then, he just got weird..(full-stop).

So, under what conditions does music “mean something” to us?
Does your playlists consists of the songs that only the other cool kids are listening to?

As for myself, i want music that talks to me.i want music that's visceral.i want instruments to speak — melody, screams, guttural sounds — I want the music to make me feel emotions i may not want to feel.

And when this music made me nervous, relaxed, freaked out, and nearly gave me a panic attack - that is it...(damn, i describe my earwax better than my sex life!)

and just the other night too, we realised we still had one thing in common.while we were driving to sheng shiong, he puts on Mariah Carey's old songs.With the window's screens down, wind blew in our directions, we sang our heart out "....i give my all to have..." We love Mariah Carey (no, he loves her more btw!).

can u guess what kinda songs i dig?hur..hur..

Talk the talk. Walk the walk.

2007-05-24T02:26:00.000+08:00

I was listening to 'Everybody Hurts' by REM, while reading Sri's blog.I realised afterwards that the song in my ear and her entry did go in parallel motion.
I felt there is melancholy in between the song and the entry.
I almost felt her sentiments.
Those bastard-coated bastards with bastards fillings are still around to chew on her ass,i thought.These are the kind of people that have mouths that uninhibited by a direct connection with their brains.

Kooky.
Monotone.
Autistic.
and probably are dying of a t-cell carcinoma.

Their lives are.

I saw the rainbow.

2007-05-23T12:45:00.000+08:00

So how have i been?

I've been good.I've received a few e-cards, e-mails, smses from close friends (thank you!), pouring their concerns regarding my "encountering with death" post.With advices, i went for my blood pressure test and (phew!) was told that everything's well with me, at least, till the doc said, "erm, Marlina, i think you're suffering from acute depression.But, there's nothing much to worry about.You're just tired and lacked of rest.No medication.. but if you need further help with your sleeping problem, just come back to me.Oh ya, please try to cut down on..."

Ya, ok.I'm back on track, or at least i've been cutting some slack in me and tried to.I've been forcing myself to sleep earlier than before, i've cut down on my nicotine intake, i've taken my EPO and vitamin C regularly, i've reduced my workout routines to three times a week.Of all things done, you must be waiting for me to say this, but no, i've not tried to be near God still.*sigh*

It’s been a real hell of a week. I mean in a great way. I’ve got a LOAD of stuff that I want to write, but I just haven’t had any time to put it all down in a readable format.Maybe later, after i'm done with cooking dinner and (the lists go on).

Anyways, i've changed the theme for this blog.Hope you guys like it, coz i had hell loads of fun doing it.Someone's feeling the ghetto love (yikes).But the song (Lost Without You) remains though, coz i am so addicted to it right now.

I'm out fucker...(tak tobat2 jugak tau!)

Look wot i found in the garbage.

2007-05-22T03:51:00.000+08:00

None other than Shirley Manson from the band "Garbage" (don't ya just miss 'em?).One of the many spokeperson for Peta, it's good to know that Shirley ain't the "stupid girl" no more.

You there?

2007-05-19T00:00:00.000+08:00

I have yet to have a decent hour of sleep for the past couple nights.Last night was worse, i thought i felt the presence of angels of death with me, hovering in my room while i was online trying to kill my time.I kept looking at the corner of my eyes to check if i ever to see one.My head throbbed so bad, my chest felt tight.I felt my body getting lighter, almost too light that i thought i was gonna faint at any moment.

At the same time i couldn't stop blamin' myself for not been eating well, for doing so much, for smoking too much, for forgetting God way too long...

I crept next to my husband who was sound asleep.Like a frightened child, i clinched to him, i heard myself crying, apologizing umpteen times....i beseeched God to gimme another chance at life.I wasn't ready to die (yet).I have so much to accomplish, i have too many people who needs me around still.but who am i to go against him, am i kidding myself when i begged for that?

I guess that's how people felt when death are summoned upon 'em.

i felt weak.
i felt helpless.
i felt sorry.

My head still hurts at this very moment but i no longer felt "it".Maybe God's giving me another chance..maybe i just need plenty of rest.My body's is breaking down, i can feel it.

So now, more than 12 hours, 5 cigarettes later, i should be glad that i am still breathing..still alive.

Shattered.

2007-05-17T11:36:00.000+08:00

Please don't take that away from me....

i was just trying to breathe.

Hasn't God been fair enough....

for he too found me a love, Love.

don't forget me.

2007-05-13T09:24:00.000+08:00

Teach me how to be strong before you go..

Teach me how to believe if you ever lie.

Teach me how to control my tears before i start to cry.

And please....

Teach me how to make you stay before you say goodbye.

For all the things you have nurtured me.

You forgot em' above.

I learnt 'em myself.

And i did the bravest thing in my life.

I let go of someone whom i loved so much.

But as i did the bravest thing...

I never felt weaker.

All i did was cry and wish that,

"hope i was never that brave."

I'm getting tired of waiting for you.

I don't wanna get hurt anymore.

So, i'm gonna stop hoping,

and try to move on.

but i'll walk away slowly.

real slow....

so if by any chance you wanna stop me,

you can still catch up.

For every beatings of my heart....

Mummy, Thank You.

throw down your umbilical noose so i can climb right back.
-Kurt Cobain.

ooh! behave..

2007-05-08T15:02:00.000+08:00

"Please stop!" i demanded.But he ignored me and continued rocking back and forth.He was strong and comforting and loving in an unaffected way.It does not matter that we both smelled of mothballs.It was love on a Tuesday morning...

I then climbed out of bed and grabbed my camera, propped myself up on one elbow and watched him.It was a good angle but almost all the shots turned out ghastly."Bie, can you stop for a sec, while i try to get this one right?" i almost begged.

Then he stopped.

He screamed.

We laughed.

:

:

:

:

:

"I told you to stop rocking her up and down, right?! she just had her feed!" I screamed.What a luck.The bonding session between them both was cut abruptly.And so did the snapping session.

The party pooper.....

"me ijit??"

"Mari kita ketawakan ayah..hur..hur..hur!"

"ayah must have smelled like a 10 years ago mothball eh?"

the best shots that i could get after all the hoopla!

What were you thinking...?

aimez-moi, aimez-moi pas..

2007-05-04T23:44:00.000+08:00

"...you just need to be gutsy about it, that's all!"

Having said that, K turned her attention to her boyfriend and playfully licked her odd-shaped lips.Their eyes flirted...i could swear to Anna Nicole Smith that i saw cupids prancing around them.She then turned to me again and gave a smirk before excusing herself.

Only those who knew K well was able to identify in a heartbeat that there must be some modicum of guilt beneath that smile.

A guilt of a perfidious wife...

Although the meeting with K took place a couple years ago at a shindig i attended to, but what she had said to me that night still lingers till this very day.

These ramblings of mine are not always poetic, but more outpourings of my observations and feelings.And this page are not gonna be dedicated to K, coz i've tucked our relationship away just like a shriveled lime and a run dry tequila.No, not because of what she did, but because we have all moved on.

Just last week, my husband returned from work and told me that one of his colleague was in a foul mood as his wife apparently left him for a famous footballer.I wasn't surprised.What's new i thought.The volume of divorces registered every year increases more rapidly than the tsunami.Wives cheating on their husband...,it is no longer a taboo.

"..if i ever caught you doing the same thing, i am sure to disfigure your looks!"
The hubba-bubba then went straight to hit the shower, not before he gave me a bear look.Trust me, having married to this man for eight years, i knew that that look means business.And as he whisked passed me, i murmured, "..chauvinist!.."

Throughout the generations, women have been often seen as the weaker sex.We have to be the pristine and proper one and almost not allowed to create a cacophonous.If you agree to that..move aside fucker, that descry is already a passé.Nowadays, women go out to work too. We can do as much as the men can (minus the jobs that need bull strength). Though women are not to be seen as an egotistic animal, however, we all have our self esteem needs too. We need compliments for things well done, for words well said, for looking good. So applaud us. We will be emotionally satisfied.

But what happened when overtimes women are not fed well with emotional needs from our significant half? And let's not get started here on how selfish our man can be ~~sometimes~~ most of the times when comes to our orgasmic pleasure.And what happened when women had enough of being the house "maid" (instead of "mate")?
For some, they decided to throw in the towel and go with the cliché, "if you can't beat them, join them".

So, who actually created infidelity? It's a subject that requires wide opinions.I am not gonna give any of my two-cents on this.

I can be evil at times (flowers wilt, puppies howl and everything i touch rots).I cuss' and swear like the scumbag next door.And i may be holding cigarette in between my fingers.But, a part of me still wants to hang on to my fuddy-duddy self.

No matter how gutsy i can become one day, i can't see myself joining the forces of the phenomenon.Even if it means i am not gonna get much appraisal or some lustful sex from the husband.I can live with that.

But i know, there are bound to be people out there (especially the bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings ones!)whom will be whistling their envies. Fuck 'em, i say!

Throughout the years, i've learnt that marriage is a messy compromise-machine whose best fuel is trust, and it would be better off.Perhaps then, we would know how human, how vulnerable, how sacred and how beautiful we all are.
Unless you wanna contribute to the divorce statistics or worse still, having your face washed off by some acidic substances lah.

On a totally different note here: did you watch American Idol last night?sheesh, amazing, how Jon Bon Jovi can still make women moist.

my girl is anything but..

2007-04-28T22:26:00.000+08:00

Yup, we've ceased Tisha's site.I've decided to put the lil babe's page somewhere more private.I do, i do have a solid reason for making the move.Having said that, i would like to thank y'all for the tremendous amount of support and love shown for Miss T's space...with some pictures, of course!

:

:

:

:

:an attempt to make the girl smile can be quite a challenge...but she did finally..well, a lil' bit tho'!

the second attempt..this was as far she would go..grrr!

otherwise...the familiar "trademark"...the 'no smile' babe!

Have a great weekend people!

juvenile.

2007-04-26T07:48:00.000+08:00

Dearest Zit Fairy,

Could you please stop visiting me.I think it’s time you moved on now.

It’s flattering that you still think I’m youthful enough to visit.But really, I’ll be turning 28 soon.Maybe you can find a nice 16 year old to take my place.The replacement would be greatly appreciated.

Also, if you run into the PMS fairy, could you tell her to take a hike also.
Thank You.

was his CONVERSE not dirty enough?

2007-04-21T17:27:00.000+08:00

Woody Allen once said, "tragedy + time = humour.I'd like to believe him.But still,i don't see it happening.

The tragedy: a suicide.

The time: 13 years.

The humour: not even a pinch.

Back in my day, we didn’t have fancy-pants mp3 players.If we wanted to listen to music, we had to wait until the song came on the radio and taped it using a blank cassette. In conclusion, kids today aren’t the same. They should be more like my generation, my generation kicked so much ass and we carried walkman around, and it wasn’t even funny.

Among those in my playlists were the ilk of Frente, U2..ok, so Tommy Page was in there too..yadayada..(did you say NKOTB? nada, maybe it was on YOURs?)..and of course, later on there was Nirvana! By now, most of my generation had upgraded themselves with a much cooler gadget-the CD player..my, didn't we come a long way.

Aaah..Nirvana,i fell head over heel in love with 'em when i first heard 'Lithium'.Nobody would have noticed.They were the band whom i thought were able to incorporate pop, punk and hard rock elements like nobody before (or since).Their songs were catchy and ooh wasn't Kurt's voice the sexiest ever? The kinda voice where you just wanna swig in your tequila and imagined hard to be ~~Courtney~~ 'Polly'.

Nirvana's authenticity in music was undeniable.Their fan base was massive.And they were THE original "slackers".You might not agree with me, but hey, who the hell wears the "grunge" look better than these fuckers?!
(Psst..and who CAN wear their scruff better than Cobain, and not looked like some sniggering nincompoop? No, not those "mat-mat" that you saw on our streets.The best that our mats can grow on their chin is only a goatee shaped like the pubic hair!!)

Unfortunately, the next Nirvana is never coming.Losing Kurt was as bad, if not worse, than losing John Lennon.I think it's fair to say that Cobain and Lennon were at creative turning points when they both met their demise.
Kurt's departure was obviously a paradox-it was hard to fathom why would someone that was blessed with so much talent, which at times does not seem fair to the rest of us commoners that people like him existed, took upon his own life.Sad...

But, in overall legacy, John Lennon is hard to touch. He was a God.I won't contest to this.
But again, I'd be fine with Yoko sitting on Lennon for the rest of my days if I could've heard just one more Nirvana album.

20/02/67~05/04/94
Rip Mr.Cobain, you'll forever be missed.

Blown away by fame
We could all feel the shotgun hit the floor

-cold

press play.

2007-04-18T11:07:00.000+08:00

Hell yeah, i am back.. with a brand new page of course! i guess the very last time i had made full use of the Adobe Photoshop was when i participated in a designing contest for 'LocalBrand'.And nope, i didn't win it!(it sucks to be me sometimes, i know.)
So basically, what i have on my page right now is just a concoction of some simple brushing and pixelating here and there.

With that said, enjoy people, coz the girl's here to play again.

Pfttt...!

2007-02-03T17:27:00.000+08:00

Beginning an entry had, and still has never been easy.The same goes towards any forms of drafts, be it a letter-writing or whatever else's.Chaining the first paragraph is a struggle for me.It is mind burning at its best.I swear i could even carve a horse out of my scalp just by thinking hard, except, this horse would never gallop away.Instead, it "neighs" through my brain's cell and hope it will somehow come out with something brilliant!

I've always had the same problem since school.

COMPOSITION WRITING.

Haha! It sure held the worst and the best of me at it.For the worst bits, apart from the above mentioned trouble, i was (am still) proned to tons of grammar mistakes.Not that i didn't notice all that 'in-your-face' errors, but i simply could not be bothered or careful enough about them...afterall, all i ever wanted was just to write a great, beautiful, readable piece.=P

For the best bits...It had me won the first place twice in English and once in Malay compo writing competitons in school.So, overall, it was a good kinda struggle i must say!

So...when comes to putting up an entry in here, it's a whole different kinda "struggle" for me.Why not, it sure ain't gonna be "just a story", but it is a depiction of my life events and the whatnots we're talking about here.And on top of that, there's template's html to worry about...Nyeh!

While, in compo writing, all i needed was just to create a beautiful 1000 words story in order to score high pointers,...but for posting up an entry, i needed to be more tactful, so that my life story would appeal amicable enough for the more prim readers.

So, why the long story today?...

Hehe, i thought it'ld be a nice alternative of telling you guys that I AM STILL ALIVE! Bluekk!

Vitamin B12.

2007-01-26T22:48:00.000+08:00

My brain seems to have went bonkers of late.I keep on forgetting where i put my stuffs, when usually i'm the kind that puts the stuffs back to where it belongs.Aging? Nah, as far as i remembered my age stops at 21! But, i think it's probably due to the lack of hairs..muahaha!(no, i'm serious here!)

So, on my girl's birthday, the day that i was pretty sure to make full use of my camera, Mr. Lumix decided to go MIA.Funny i thought, coz all along the camera's either on my desk top or in my purse, but it was not there....on an eventful day!I was clearly upset about it, but i cut it some slack and reminded myself that the actually celebration will only take place on Sunday, hence, i still have enough time to look for it....then today...i found it.Of all places that our own Mr. cameraman aka Siddiq chose to keep it, the wardrobe!

And you thought my bout of bad luck stops there...oh no, you have no idea what happened next.. on the very same day, mind you!

-my spectacle broke!

-i misplaced my make-up bag!

-i lost my ATM card!

By then i was already cursing and swearing myself crazy.Never would i have thought i can get to my own nerves.I must have been god's joke of the day...or so i thought.

Without my specs, i can still make do with a slightly blur vision (my degree's not that high, so i'm ok).Without ATM card, we can still make do with what ever cash we have on hand (but, everything have to budget!).BUT,....without make up,....i made Mike Tyson's bruised eyes looked good!;P

Today, i managed to "recover" all the stuffs back again.Apart from my camera, i too, finally found my make up bag ,which was on the top shelf of my kitchen's cabinet.Don't ask me how or why it got there, i've no idea even.

Next, i went to the optometrist and the bank to get my lenses and card done respectively.So, got card already right, i went to buy another set of dumb bells for myself.Why do i need to buy another when i already have a 2 kg sets and a 5 kg sets at home?....hahaha, *sigh* i FORGOT where i've kept my 5 kg ones, and i am sick of having to lift those 2kgs!

So, it's pretty clear here, i am slacking in the bwain.So vitamin B12, you're next on my shopping list!

Hi and Lo.

2007-01-26T00:51:00.000+08:00

Tsk!Tsk! Lumix where are you??!!

Wonderful 8.

2007-01-24T02:48:00.000+08:00

I can still vividly recall the event that took place exactly 8 years ago...

The year that had almost instanteneously change my life a level ahead...

The year that had brought too much tears...both good and bad.

The year that taught me the rudeness of what life could bring...

The year that saw me through the best and the worst...

The year that God delivered me a special gift...

A gift of life...

A gift of love...

A gift that comes in pair...

A gift that had made me a mommy.

My princesses...

HAPPY 8th BIRTHDAY!

Love,

Mama.

Breathe in..breathe out.

2007-01-22T00:23:00.000+08:00

After almost 2 weeks of introducing my body back to cardio work out again, i am finally on weight and strength training.Now, on the third day, my body felt like it had been tossed about to ground level by Chyna! But on the flipside, i know, my mucles are re-acting, in a good way that is.

At least one of my resolution's on its way to accomplishment (that, if i'm able to keep up to it!), now left to the rest to take place....

Again i was in an "old school" mood today, i listened to Frente, Jackson 5, Stevie Wonder, Nirvana and Yeah Yeah Yeahs (this one ain't ol' school tho'!) over and over again.Frente have always been a sweetheart in my ears and in my heart back when i was in my junior year in secondary school..who can forget them.Though a lil bit of reminiscing doesn't hurt, too much of it had almost reduced me to tears.

I dearly missed my schooling years..the best days in my life, so i called it.Great stuffs happened during those years..most were good (minus the raging hormones and outburst of pimples!), it still tastes like sweet, sweet saccharine up till today.Now, how i wish Michael J Fox's time machine or even Adam Sandler's remote control is believable!

Sheesh...!

It was all WORTH it!

2007-01-17T01:38:00.000+08:00

Why, miss me already? Well, i wasn't in yet another hiatus rampage but i was so fed up with the slowww connection.That, and i recently was thinking of shutting my blog altogether but..to think that there's so many memories, anecdotes, events and accounts that i had been jotting in here for more than a year, i decided against it.

Reading my previous entry, it was pretty clear that i was having bad days and ended up sounding like an escaped mental patient.Now you know, my life do have flaws.I'm not gonna fake it all up and give you a picture perfect life like anyone else's would.It'll be a lie. And that's gonna beat the purpose of having a "journal".

I was trying not to barrage myself with over-used clichés about how ‘that which does not kill you makes you stronger’ or ‘this is building character’. Honestly, what happened wasn't building character at all. If anything, i just got bitter, and i’ll probably stay pretty bitter for a couple years, and then i’ll have nightmares and i’ll probably fantasize about harming my husband or feeding him to the bears!

But thank god, i need not have to do any of those above.Things has got better since the last post.I got to see the blue sky again....

And since i am face-to-face with glee again, i tried to catch up with what i've missed doing for myself.Apart from the menicure, i tried my luck again by going to the movie rental shop and was hoping that this time around "Prison Break"dvds will be available.Believe it or not, but i had waited for those babies for more than a month when finally i got my hands on them (read: after all the cool kids have watched the entire episodes of it!).

The set itself has a total of 6 dvds in it.And so far i've managed to watch half of them.Though i am so tempted to watch it in the day,so i could speed up the watching process and not having to slump myself at night till 5 am, i decided not to, too much violence for my kids' angelic self to take part in the marathon...and furthermore i wouldn't want the kiddos to see me drooling over "him" (which will result much to the kid's disappointment coz it wasn't their dad that i was drooling at!).

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"Him" aka Wentworth Miller aka the main cast.

So, have you got yours? Tell you, you so not gonna regret it, coz it is so "WORTH" it!

Life do has it's own middle finger.

2007-01-11T16:31:00.000+08:00

I've been in a record breaking foul mood since my last entry, which at this point explains my sporadic blogging.That, and i don't have anything nice to say, because my life isn't really very interesting at the moment and i'm sick of thinking about and talking about and writing about "deep" issues, uh, like leggings?

But i do have to apologize to those who has been anticipatingly coming back in here now and then to check on any new "news" from me.And i know each and everytime , you just had to be disappointed with the last entry that was served.I just need a break and disappear into the dark and quiet recesses of blogosphere.But, trust me, this is gonna be a superbly long/make up entry for y'all.

So, someone once called my blog a third-rate humour/inside jokes diary, these days, it's not even humorous.Yes, i stick on to the humour part coz the problem with inside jokes was, it has offended some people..people who are not good at logic and reasoning, this means those people who won't understand what the joke's all about, was the one who used to collapsed my inbox with"@%$^" nonsence.

It’s pretty easy to get caught up in how our lives should or could be, how the people around us affect us, and what we can do to get out of this mess. I heard once that using a kitchen sponge just moves the germs around. I have no reason to disbelieve this.
Sometimes I feel like I’m just moving around the germs of my life. One problem solved, another comes into focus. For all the good changes I’ve been having, I’m still having a serious problem with my personal life. I have some obvious insecurities, this is no secret, and I’m dealing with them day by day, making progress. Yet still, what is left? The niggling bits?

Often I look at myself through a fish eye lens. Certain parts of me are distorted, sometimes the good parts are better, the worst parts are unbearable, and the normal part..the parts that make me like everyone else, seem overbearing. So the issue of rising above and moving ahead and sorting things out becomes tedious and confusing. My frustrations rise with everything around me.

I'm totally not even sure why i can't make any progress to all the nonsessical bits happening.I think it's partly due to normal hormonal shifts, but that doesn't even come close to justifying my problems.i'm so bent out of shape and i can hardly recognize myself.

So, in effort to get myself back to some sort of normal, i have been catching up with some old friends and been doing cross-word puzzles again.First, i was doing them romatically, then i started doing them compulsively.Now, i am like a sabutex addict!

The other day I was listing some physical problems I've been having to my friends, C and J. I will spare you some of the details because they are both personal and don't help me project the air of perfection I strive for (is it working?), but they include lack of sleep, more lack of sleep, pointless eating, stomach problems, hair falls, more hair falls and horrendous breakouts. All of the above mentioned physical problems ain't funny alright!

But I do have a funny story, HPV sufferers may not find it funny. Idiots may also not find it funny.

So, after couples of wines down, C, J and I proceeded to discuss about a woman who has to have a hysterectomy (sorry hysterectomy recipients...as if it were some sort of gift, right?) because she had cervical cancer (also not funny). I brought up the fact (or should i say medical trend?) that women who have cervical cancer almost always suffer from HPV(funny), or had their fair share of sexual partners. Then J said, "But this is a woman who left a tampon in for three weeks." To which I replied, "That's not gonna be good for business." C thought that was funny. Then I realized the insinuation I had made, and I kind of had to laugh as well.And then it occurred to me, HPV, cervical cancer, hysterectomies, and Toxic Shock Syndrome are no laughing matters....we must have had evil wines for that night!

I really do appreciated the time-off Darl gave me the other day to catch up with my two meanest girlfriends.Sometimes you need a reminder from your not so distant past to jog your emotions back in order.It's always a pleasure to be with those who loves me and accepts me and shares old fond memories.I don't want excitement..i just want a damn good time.(Or a lifetime supply of chocolates!!)

The more i sit at home, the more I’ve been thinking about the matter between me and Darl, and the more it frightens me. Not because it isn’t solvable..everything’s solvable.I won’t go into all of the details, but I found myself becoming more and more embittered and jaded, more and more tired, and more and more unpleasant, because it has wedged its way between me and happiness. Because it has become insidious. How long this process has taken, I don’t know. Maybe my whole life, maybe more recently. The damage is: I am a passive. Ahh, the word sounds so gentle...

Really, i don't want you all to get bored with me going on and on with my life story, but the last time i checked, this is a blog...MY blog! (so, read on if your eyes are still fully intact..)

See, I have been able to curb my foul language, to a point, but unless I have someone I really care about (impressing), chances of eradicating it totally are slim to none.At least i have tried improving on one thing to say the least!

So, like i've mentioned to my friends, now i'm telling you again, that i have been lacking of sleep lately (now, this is something which i can't seem to improve on).This has never seem to be a problem, coz i'm known to be a nocturnal, but the PROBLEM is that i can't get to sleep until the wee of 5 am and i had to be awake at 6 am.You do the math...

Hopefully, you came up with that i could at most get about 1 hour of sleep.If so, you're good at math!!
I figure, i average about 2 hours of slumber since last week.Maybe from now on I’ll try to make sleep a priority in my life. That or start doing hard drugs. If I’m going to be nuts, I may as well have a good reason....:P

So, dear readers, after spiraling into a surprisingly untimely fit of "severe depression", i still make time to update this dusty blog of mine, the best you could do for me is to wish me luck with the next i-donno-what.

Till then, hugs, hugs from moi>>(only because it's been raining today, and i thought you need one!)

You Heard Me.

2007-01-05T00:42:00.000+08:00

Hahaha! After so much of complaining last night, my prayer were answered this morning (4/1),
Tisha woke up 5 minutes shy away from her sisters, and that has made my morning smooth-running this time. Macam tau je budak kecik ni!

But later on in the afternoon, i was already screaming and shouting over the phone with Darl for picking up the girls late.Half an hour late okay! My poor Tihah started to cry all the way till she got home. I really don't understand why the teacher could just leave my girls infront of the school's office without even contacting anyone of us, #$%*@*!!! (i had promised not to use that certain word anymore..especially not on teacher!)

But who cares..Fuck you Mdm K!!

I had a problem with her last year when she taught Farhana for Mother Tongue, not once did she misplaced my kid's stuff..but TWICE!! And this year comes my worst nightmare..she is my kiddos form teacher!!!

I guessed Darl must not have wanted to hear anymore bantering from me, so he rest assured me that he would personally see the teacher tomorrow, i mean today.

Gee..why can't there be another Mdm Tan?

To top it off, my anger just didn't stop there...i think it must have been close to 2 hours now for me to just type this all down...damn internet connection, my sis's tortoises would have run much faster. And bluek to those using wireless!!

So, before the speed of my blood run up above my head like the waves of tsunami, i think i should end it here.Kanasai!

My Manic Monday..

2007-01-03T22:33:00.000+08:00

Today starts the school term once again.And since the girls are in the morning session this year, no doubt, my weekday's morning will never be the same again...at least till this year ends.

I am not a very morning person..before Tisha arrived, the latest i would be up and about was usually around 8am, so it was hard for me in the beginning to train my very eyes after she was born..to wake up every now and then for her every 3 hours feeds.

And now, after i am finally coping well with all that, comes this morning frenzy. It would have been less tiresome if only Tisha's feeding time is around the same timing as when her sisters are awake for school.But, i'm gonna cut myself some slack here, and hope in a matter of time i will get used to it all.Till then, hello to more dark rings and eye bags i guess!(i almost looked like a panda kena sodomised like that!)

But on the brighter side, Darl had promised to send and fetch the girls to and from school every single day, so that's one less thing for me to worry about...;P

Now...

Blast from the past...does anyone knows or in fact remembers what this is?...

Well, my sis would have guessed it right in a heart beat...

It's a delight that has never failed to put a smile on me and my sister's faces when we were younger.

Every time, whenever we heard "tuk, tuk, tuk" sound coming from the void deck, we would scoured for every cents that we had, and ran downstairs like mad to buy this.

Though it looked pretty much like a dough, it's actually a malted candy.Till now, i've never knew what is it called..so we grew up calling it "gula ketuk", hence from the sound that the apek made from breaking the sweets into pieces!

Almost two decades on..i am still very much in love with this treat.I will make it a point to buy it whenever i chanced upon it.Why not..if it tastes way better than, ehem, sex!??

If any nymphomania were to read this, i am sure they will go on a parade in their most kinky crotchless underwear to protest what i had just said about the sex thingy!!They would be probably be rolling their eyes like exorcists kind and be thinking, no way a candy can taste better than sex...

But, the taste has slightly changed over time.It's texture is more like 'mentos' kind now, so it is less shiok.Guess, sex rules after all...boo-hoo!

Nevertheless, it's the fond memories that comes with eating it that matters the most to me..the memories of growing up with my baby sister..*wink*

Another 365

2007-01-01T00:00:00.001+08:00

Well, now that my proverbial "week from hell" is over, per se, i can now look back on my 2006 fondly.

I was downloading a few songs earlier on when i just felt like listening to old listenable pop-dance music, you know those Salt 'N' Peppa ilk. I downloaded some fron Jon Secada, Marky Mark etc.Frankly, it was more fun to take a break from "the inner circle" and sway to the sounds of my, and other people's, musical youth.Haha!

So what's been happening in 2006? Basically most out of the 365 days, my life was filled with endless drivel..No doubt, how can any of these things be compiled into an entertaining year.

Some drove me to the point of insanity and making me turn into a mean person..i've had never said the word "fuck" more than i did last year.Hope to make that word redundant this year around..well, again it depends!

I was thwarted from every angle, assuming angles twart..maybe? But the only angles i could think of now is a slice or perhaps more slices of pizza! And then it'll add more unproportionate angles to my thighs!! Tryin' to lose weight? damn, i've yet to even do a consistently routine of workouts! tomorrow start okay...

So, we have accepted that tights are here to stay, if begrudgingly so.It irritates me how some girls would wear them underneath their skirts or dresses..okay, so it's kawaii and all but still it IRRITATES me...it might have looked good on Madonna and Debbie Gibson during their glorified days, but now? But, like i've mentioned, i am more accepting now! *puke*

Just wondering, next season, will gloves with fingers sticking out of it, or perhaps some ludicrous colored leg warmers be avant garde?? We shall see..and i won't be surprised,..

Though my year wasn't one of the best, there was some good laughs along the way.I am literally exhausting every idea i have on how to make this and that to work.And since i can't pull ideas outta thin air, i have to pull them outta my butt..coz there's certainly enough "materials" there! LOL! May the worst days of 2006 be the best days in 2007...

But on the flipside of the worst...came the best...

I gave birth to Miss T in October...and that pretty much more than the cherry on top of my, uh, mudpie?

So people...though this entry came a day late, but if you can see, i did reserved a perfect timing to put this all up...see the time below, then see the date above and then see the time and date you're actually reading this...now get what i mean?

Happy New Year y'all..!

Cheers!

To all with love...

2006-12-31T10:28:00.000+08:00

SALAM EIDUL ADHA....

Random.

2006-12-30T02:42:00.000+08:00

I've noticed that my hair falls more than the usual amount these past few days.Was it caused by one of those post-preggy symptoms?.. or was it due to my current demand of mental energy?..i donno..coincidentally, both post-natal and stress level do take the same after-effect to the mane.Bah!

Not to think much of the above mentioned reasons and causes, i decided to put the entire blame on the hair products that i had been using for the past months, at least till the last four days, till i switched back to my ever so trustworhty brand back again, hurhur! I swear this time around never to "dump" them again!

So now, my hubster is entitle the privilege of using my (or used to be mine) shampoo and conditioner...it's all yours Darl, pro bono!

On an entirely different note, i am pretty much still obscure to the current problem that i am facing.It's drivng me cuckoo up in the brain...it's like a slow death for me.But, i gracefully cope (or trying to) it all on my stride...i've been intoxicating myself any other nights, and that has miraculously kept me sane, at least kept me from hitting on the trouble.

Am so blessed to have the kids ard me, they distract me from "reality" for awhile..they never failed to make me rekindle my childhood once again..and for that i am truly blessed.Coz' being in touch with your inner child feels almost next to magic..

Patience is a virtue and so does it has a limit to it...keep on testing it...it'll become hazardous one day...so please...!

It Just Doesn't Pay...

2006-12-27T18:16:00.000+08:00

I HATE YOU!

7 Days of Challenges

2006-12-24T23:12:00.000+08:00

As far as my week goes, it has been physically strenuous and mentally sullen for me.The lag of blogging is purely intended as i simply have no mood to update my monochrome days.

I was physically weared out from wrapping my girls' whole lot of school books..i took almost 4 days to get it all done...su-weet!
But, i'm quite relieved that most of the preparation for the school re-opening is done, except to get the girls a haircut and school shoes, which is already in my agenda for the coming week.So, let's pray that the wheather will be good juz for a day so i can bring them all four out..we've been home-bound for too long!!

Mentally wise...let the upmost details remained in my written journal.It's too heart-wrenching even to think of it now.I just hope me and Darl could clear the wheather soon...

Finally, the week has come to an end..it has been too much for me..hope the next one will be smooth running, and meanwhile..you guys have a happy holiday!

And to all my Christian friends and readers..MERRY X'MAS!

Down Came the Rain and...

2006-12-17T16:12:00.000+08:00

Again, the wheather isn't kind enough to let me keep a promise that i've made days ago to the kids.I guess swimming just have to wait till sunny days gets its mood again.

We have to abandon the thoughts of playing Monopoly too, coz my MISTER Siddiq had misplaced all the "apartments" and "cars". (again!) So, to keep these hyper kids entertained, we played 'Barnyard' on the daddy's PS2.

And right now, i had to "abandon" the kids for a bit while i get this entry up before Miss T wakes up from her slumber.

My cramps has finally subsided, all thanks to the 1 litre of warm barley drink that i've made for myself the other day or i'ld sure to corrode in my own, erm, (too disgusting for me to tell !)if the problem were to persist any further..

Anyways, my babe turned 2 months yesterday, she even slept almost the entire of yesterday.Well, she's more adaptable now, i must say, and has since been putting on weights.I'm glad all's good throughout her 2 months stint.Hope to see a baby Michellin in the making..hahaha!

Okiee..let me catch up with the kiddos, you guys go and have a great snuggle with your bacin blankies alright.

*POOF*

Link: Second 16th

Pardon Me

2006-12-16T00:38:00.000+08:00

No wonder my mood has been swinging like a crazy pendulum lately. And i have been on a bickering pangs with Darl this couple of days as well...And all thanks to IT!

Right at this moment, i'm having bouts of cramps on my tummy..shucks! i hate this so bad. Even after gulping down a couple of paracetamol doesn't seems to help one bit.

So..what's with me this past few days without updates?...First, i wasn't able to finish my days of entries coz Miss T was back to her grumpy self again, thus i decided to delete them all together instead of posting my already dah basi story up.

Secondly, i was (and still) so fed-up with my absent-minded self for not bringing my cam on my virgin trip to Vivo City!! So frustrated that i don't see a point at all of me posting an entry without any pics to go with it.Next time hor..(patting self back)

Today we went to my Dad's again, this time was more to catch up times with my sis, since she's on a week leave.The initial plan was to bring the kiddos for a swim at Choa Chu Kang Sports complex, but since the wheather was against us (again!), we called it off and went to Lot 1 instead and did a lil' bit of retail therapy.Somehow it does distract me for a bit from my cramps, but not till long.Back to my dad's, all i did was slumped myself on the sofa all the while.

Overall, am glad that i got to spend sometime with my baby sis.She has been in a very bad shape lately, hope our presence did manage to cheer her up. ;)
We left at half past ten, Darl came and fetched us up. And the moment i got in the vehicle, i started yakking at him again.Aiyoh..! But, Darl was such a darling...Smoochem baby!

Just the right song in my ears right now to end this entry off...'I Live My Life for You' by Firehouse!!! ol-scool baybeeee....

Tok Abah...

2006-12-11T10:45:00.000+08:00

With 'Monster Ballads' record blasting in my ears right now, guess i'm ready to do this...(yes! i dread updating this past few days :p)

Wanted to update this last night, but was instead busy "updating" with my mum over the phone till at the wee of 2am! Gee..

So, our Sunday was half spent over at my dad's.Since Darl's gotta work, so, it was just me and the 4 little people! and thanks to the wheather, we all had a mad rush for a moment when suddenly the rain poured down as we soon as we got to the void deck! Luckily we brought umbrellas along, so don't ya worry..no kids were harm during all the hoopla and fetching a cab was a breeze too.

No wotsoever occasion..just the norm visit to my dad's since it's been like almost a month i last visited him. Ba, was feeling rather weak though, coz' he had just donated blood in the afternoon, which is nothing unusual about this good samaritan coz he's considered a regular on this.

Had our dinner there...chitter chatter a 'lil...and we left at around 10pm. And you know what....the "laziness" to elaborate more on this entry is slowly chewing me right now, even 'Monster Ballads' can't do any good..why not i just leave this till here, with one measly pic to end it off..hey! housewives do have 'Monday Blues' too you know! So, till the next one...too-dles!

Cik Sofi(my dad's "beau"), my Baba and my dar-darls!

What's Cookin'?

2006-12-06T23:46:00.000+08:00

Today Darl took a day off from work, he's having an excessive evacuation of too fluid faeces, which in another word means..he's got a very bad diarrhoea!! Muahahahaha! But he managed to tag along with me to the polyclinic for Tisha's immunisation in the morning tho'.Luckily, the whole process took about an hour, or else i'm sure something embarassing were sure to happen!

Since Darl would be home-bound, and i was in the mood to cook, i asked him to drive us to Sheng Shiong to fetch some ingredients for the day's menu.I sweared i've had never shopped at Sheng Shiong that superly-duperly fast before!

Today's menu was more to tantalise the sick person's taste buds.Tho' it was a no-no menu for someone's having diarrhoea, i just went with it...

Lemak Ayam Cili Padi...the family's favourite!actually i've already had something in mind on what to cook, but the sick man personally requested for this.The colour looked a 'lil greenish and that's because i only added half of the usual quantity of coconut milk this time..scared if i had done it as per normal, it'll do more damage to Wan's tummy!

I've been on the "kepingin" mode for fermented soya (tempe) for the past weeks.So, i'm not giving it a miss to cook this..a recipe i learnt from the makcik selling nasi padang at kopitiam.kepo kan i ni!Donno what is it called by the way! She told me this recipe originates from orang-orang kampung in Indonesia..donno how true la, but trust me, the taste is wicked..!!

Initially, i thought of cooking congee, so thus explained why i "rebus" this.

So, there goes my Wednesday..it was indeed a good one since we hardly had Darl around.And on top of it all..there's a good "news" we received at night, just perfect to end the day off as the 'cherry on top of the cake.'

Dirty Laundry.

2006-12-04T15:41:00.000+08:00

My MIL insisted that i take home with me this month's issue of Manja when we visited her yesterday, citing "there's a gossip 'bout your cousin".To tell you the truth, i was pretty much more interested in the covered story than what's in store for my cousin's column.I'm not an avid reader of malay magazines, but since it's FOC, i might jolly well took it home!

So today, i flipped open the mag and frantically searched for what's the gossip was all about.After flipping the entire pages of the mag twice, i finally saw my cuzzie's picture in it..why not, he was just the 'belen2' of the main story, thus his picture was only like one third size of my palm?!

I don't wanna say anything much 'bout my cuzzie here, i am glad that he finally made it big, but on the gossiping part, guess he too must know that, that comes hand-in-hand with fame.

So, if you didn't catch the copy or find that it's not worth your $3.50 (like moi),here's the spread...

Apparently, Eka Mairina (the winner of Anugerah, some years ago.), had divorced her husband.So, what has it got to do with my cousin?..well,there's been rumours that they are/were seeing each other! Don't ask me whether is it true or not, coz i am least interested to know!!

But, what got my attention was how candidly she anecdoted her married life.Mmmm..not very likely for someone who has a celeb status like her to be so "open" about the "uglies", i thought.Even the notorious kid, Britney Spears, didn't!

Well, for some kepos like you, who wants to know more and do not wish to part with your dear $3.50 even though there's Taufik Batisah as main covered issue, then, read on....

So she was saying, her ex was a wife-beater...for a narrow-minded people to read that, they might sympathize with her but for a more broad-minded people,(ehem, like me!) they would questioned...what has actually ticked the ex to have done that? and, has she contributed to any of the facts how the incident(s) happened?

And she said, her ex was "just a despatch-rider" and "dari awal sudah ada masalah komunikasi".Needless to say, if she had known better, how in the hell had she ended up on the dais with the fella.

You see, it is very contradicting.If you die, die want to spread your dirty laundry in public, make sure it becomes your last say la.

Not that i'm having an all along blissful marriage myself, i do talk to people when things weren't going on well, but, i carefully 'select' the people whom can be talked to..people who can give me a good listening ears, a shoulder to cry on to, advices that i could heed.But isn't marriage supposed to be sacred?

Divorce is never sweet... unless you are one mother-fucking gold digger or have any other ulterior motives besides wanting to "live happily ever after"!

I do empathize with Eka's plight, but this is just as far it goes, i am not gonna judged her any further.Who the hell are we to know what she has gone through, but, reading the article has somehow perked up my boring Monday afternoon!

Ok, since Manja does not pay me to do this nor am i promoting the mag, and yes i still want you to part with your miserable $3.50,... go ahead and buy the mag if you want to know more or if you are a big fan of Taufik Batisah. Other than that, i suggest you go get yourself some fashion magazines and start cracking your brain's juice out on what to don for this coming x'mas and new year's celebration...that if you care!

Just a sneak peak...

The insatiable Taufik on the cover.

hmmmp...

no comments..!

Men are NOT from Mars!

2006-12-01T12:28:00.000+08:00

Nothing unusual today.Woke up, bathed and fed lil Miss T, made breakfast, tend to the kids, did the laundry and wotever else called 'chores'. And by chores, it includes clearing ~~Darl~~ Irwan's (too mad to call him Darl today!) 'after-shaving', 'after-showering', 'after-gelling' and the 'night's before clothes' messes!

And this happens every single of my marital days with him!! Why can't he just be 'prim and proper' for once..why can't he grows up..!!! I am not saying that he isn't improper, but in organizing wise, he just is.And the list goes on and on for that section.

I am getting sick..sick of having to pick up all his shits from the floor, the bathroom, the dresser!
And i am tired..tired of having to tell him what to do every day!
Overall..i am sick and tired of this attitude!

I know it is my duty as a wife to clean up, but what is his duty as a grown up? I do have my "lazy days" too. But i do put unfold clothes in the basket, i buy food when i don't feel like cooking, basically, i tried to things in order even when things are not done! Get what i mean?

I do not have a 'compulsive orderly' syndrome.But i expect the clothes that i had fold neatly to be kept in rows, you do not just pulled it outta the rack..it's inconsiderate! Yes YOU..the guilty one..the man that i've been married to for almost 8 years now!Even your kids knows better my man!

I don't expect my man to be in the 'metrosexual' leaque, (would be an absolute tragedy if he is!) but, hellooo..i am handful already!
If i am a FDW, i would have slit my wrists way before..

Be it with this entry or not, i know there won't be any differences tomorrow or any days ahead will make. Am just here to vent my upmost displeasure.

So, if your man are from Mars, good for ya, 'coz apart from not understanding the female species, i'm sure they are more 'prim and proper' to say the least!

Mine?.... he's from before century!!

'coz back then, there's no wax....

mm..trust 'em to call this a "disposable" one!

a convenient place to put used clothes..FLOOR!
yet another convenient place for dirty socks..SHOE CABINET'S TOP!

Grrrrrrr.....!!

cross-eyed!

2006-11-30T02:14:00.000+08:00

Apparently, i was trying to edit my last entry when i accidently clicked on the 'delete' button instead of 'edit'.Bah!

Nope, am not re-posting it again, coz it was a super long one.Furthermore, my very much sacrificed edited photos included, and that, i had discarded too from my folder!!Hep! hep! hep! *beat own hand*

So now, being close to 3am, i am still hyped up.Just had a chat with my sis over at MSN.Very interesting subject we chatted about.."very"!!It made me feel like i'm a ~~groupie,~~ ~~school girl,~~ ~~virgin,~~ single femme once again!

So hope you are happy now Dik, that someone had called me his first fan!

And that doesn't come too often okay, i don't idolize people that much, so 'someone' ought to feel 'lucky' that i'm his ~~fan~~, erm, friend can?*wink*

Gotta go, else gonna be "good-morning" for me instead of "good-night".

Too-dles!

SILAT has never been this GOOD!

2006-11-26T13:01:00.000+08:00

No, i didn't take up the sport, neither am i interested in what the game's like.Let me just stay my bimbotic-self and acknowledged it as just another martial art thingy.But what "part" of the game has to offer does interest me..or should i say,'excite' me.

No, i'm not gonna talk about silat, even if i do, i don't even know what to, but, if you are an avid Suria's channel follower, you should have come across/watched a newly sports programme called 'S-Trek' by now.

'Silat' and 'S-Trek'?... you should have guessed it by now what i'm talking about or ~~what~~ who i am gonna.

I do watch sports games, but sports programme...they have NEVER tickled any interests in me.But,i beg to differ when comes to watching 'S-Trek'.Yes, if not for the *cough* cute host..Md.Yusuff Shah! My sis went "Eeew!" when i told her about my craze for him, probably you would too if he doesn't fall into your 'my type' category!

Ok, so he doesn't have that very much of that hunk of spunk look (uh,i think he looks sexy tho'!),but i lurveee the body, you know, the i-do-sport kinda body.No? you disagree?..go ahead, for all i care. I have every right to ogle at FIT men now, since Darl's body has developed the love for 'spare-tyres'!!oops!

Didn't know i still have the 'lil itsy bitsy perv left in me!!

~~Silat~~ Sunday...it has never been this good.Aahhh...!

p/s: couldn't find any bigger pic of him on the web. So, if you are Mr.Yusuff Shah, maybe you can email me one? (pui!pui!)

to listen or not to

2006-11-24T19:21:00.000+08:00

I had removed the previous entry due to some graphic materials.Apparently, i was trying to be instanteneously famous like *ehem* someone, and had posted several nude pictures of myself but then i received an email from Dr. Phil telling me i should forget about being famous so and so...here's how the email goes;

"Dearest Marlina, it has come to my concern that you as an individual has posted nude pictures of your *ewww* fat self and hoping to get somewhat famous?? I personally feel that you have got a too high of an esteem problem. Please remove all the photos or you gonna have to sit with me for a session or even sessions..it depends. Smoochem, Dr. Phil."

Apparently, my too well-endowed body was not well accepted by the public,and on top of that i couldn't see myself sitting one to one with Dr.Bull,oops, i mean Dr. Phil, so that explains the ceased of the entry, You didn't catch 'em? my..my..what a loss! I'm pretty sure if you did, those babat2 yang berlimpah would be such a feast to the eyes...

kuakuakua...okay so that was a joke, please people where are thou sense of humour?

I really had to remove my previous post 'coz it was utterly nonsensical, i had nothing to tell! But, today i have something, none of anyone's business nor mine, but i thought i should just share since i am so free right now.

So, last nite right, at around, let's say between 7-8pm, and i had put Tisha to bed,
we heard a loud thud, yes,yes, louder than that moron's "Bose" stereo. So there, being a naturally 'kepo' self, i sneered out of the window la and also found dua-puluh-dua-ribu-dua-ratus-dua-puluh-dua (familiar?) orang2 yang tak kurang keponya sedang menjenguk-jenguk juge!!

So, when i didn't found anything peculiar about that thud, i just assumed that the ice-cream man had dropped his bike! coz' most of the people opposite my block was looking towards his direction.(of all things..!)So,when Darl came home later, i dengan semangatnye la complain kat dia....

Me: "Bie, tadi ade bunyik kuat skali bie, ingatkan ape, orang terjun ke..rupanya apek ice-cream terjatuhkan die punya motor.Kesian Tisha, dah tido syok2, terkejut die!!"
Darl: "eh?"

Pui! buang air liur je bebual dengan orang tua sorang ni!!

Then today, when my kids came back from the playground, Fatihah came rushing to me and said,

Fatihah: "Mama, semalam yang bunyik kuat tu kan, actually orang jatuh la, orang tu mati.Ade satu budak bilang Tiha tadi."
Me: "eh? Mama ingat apek ice-cream yang clumsy, jatuhkan motorbike die."
All three kids: "hahahahhahahahahahaha....."

Ok, so even my kids thinks my reasoning was absolutely absurd!

But what not so absurd about the whole story is..just days back when i headed back from the supermarket, and usually we have to walk within these stretch of blocks, i was telling to myself, i had better walk under the void deck instead of on the pavement,yalah, takut2 orang terjun ke...ape ke...it's a phobia, coz i ever witnessed a guy who fell from the tenth storey, but that another whole story.Then last night, betul2 ade orang nak terjun da...

So...what can you learn from reading my blog today??
a)Walk under the void deck.This is not only to avoid orang2 yang nak act superman je, but also to avoid killer litters.
b)NEVER, EVER, EVER, make too smart of an assumption.Kesian kan..apek ice-cream tak bersalah!

Though, after reading through my entry above,it is still pointless.. but at least it is less nonsensical than the last one.Till then, ta-da!

Say What??

2006-11-23T16:41:00.000+08:00

*ENTRY HAS BEEN REMOVED*

whopdewhop...

2006-11-17T15:53:00.000+08:00

yay! make it double yay!yay!

first, my confinement period's officially over.Well,to think of it, not that i have one actually, but, at least the makciks won't go screaming that i've langgar pantang or whatsoever when they sees me outside.

Erm, not that i go out a lot these days eh, except to run some errands and send the girls to school.Speaking of which,

the school break's finally here!!!
so, that pretty much explains the double yay-ness.duh!

full month

2006-11-16T10:46:00.000+08:00

Our dearest Fatisha turns one month today.

As from 8 am today, she has been restless and cranky....all thanks to the very "considerate" neighbour, who has been blasting his stereo so loudly, as though tomorrow's gonna be doom's day!right at this very moment as i am typing, the big arse is blasting away the 'Tokyo Drift' soundtrack.He must have been high from drinking some sort of detergent or something and probably be hysterically dancing naked right now,or worst still,shiokly masturbating himself to the rhythem!

Seriously, i can't think of any decent reason for that ear-bleeding loud music at this hour, except, he must have been trying so desperately hard to conceal his shrieking moans.yikes!

Now let me cross my fingers and hope Fatisha would be so tolerant enough and sleep through till her next feed.Or else i'm gonna have to knock on that bloody neighbour's door and make sure he has Bose for a stereo or else i'm gonna bobbitt him instead...motherF*****!!!

ooh, what's that??...*rubs head and found two horns growing*

Quiet Noise

2006-11-14T20:02:00.000+08:00

If only appreciation has come first,

if only we were there for you,

if only we still have you....

We definitely felt your absence,we missed the ample hugs and kisses,the tantalising good food you cooked,the sweet smelling shoulder that has never got tired of our rants and cries,the good 'ol jokes that we shared...

Part of us gone with you,

and part of you remains here with us,in our hearts..

She said,"forever and ever babe",and that has reduced me to tears thinking of you.

M,your love and devotion for us would never be forgotten!

Up and About

2006-11-10T13:15:00.000+08:00

My many thanks to all concerned readers/well-wishers, whom has been flooding my inbox asking for Fatisha's well-being.The little babe is doing fine and is now adjusting better to her sleeping period.And for those whom has been asking for an update,chet,korang ingat ni surat khabar ke?:D

Ok,i make sure you clap your hand for this,and i mean it!Clap!hehehe..i have lost 4 kg up to date,and that excludes the post-natal weight which has long been shed on the very first week.So, before you gonna start flooding my inbox again asking for this and that,no, i have not started on any diet streaks or any exercise regime yet.That all can wait till the confinement period's over, am not in any hurry.This is the time for me to take well care for both the babe and myself.What i did was just cut back a lil on my usual rice intake and of course the major credit goes to breast-feeding.I admit that I don't bf regularly, coz of my medicinal consumption, which somehow makes my milk taste funny,(and no i did not taste my own milk!!) but Fatisha would gagged it all out at the very first taste of it.So,I bf her any other days that i don't consume any medicines or before i consume 'em.For those of you who does not know what breast feeding can do for you,one of 'em... you can burn up to 500 calories per session!

I know i still have a long way to go in losing all the undesirable weights,but like i said,no hurry for that,my Tisha comes first. But somehow or rather i was amazed at how he managed to lose 17 kg in three months, and if you knew who Kirstie Alley is,(yes,that super fat actress!) she's no longer fat,she has dropped 75 pounds okaaay...and that's what i called true spirit of determination.Ok,losing weights aside,it defeats the purpose when right now i am chowing down on some chicken nuggets,baked,not fried..at least that's for a start hor!*roll eyes*

Now, let me shift to a different story....

After so long of ~~asking~~ screaming/begging/harassing Wan to take a day off,he finally did yesterday.I thought with him around i could catch up with spending the day on ME,like don on my manicure ke,lepak sepuas-puasnye ke,cukur bulu2 yang tengah lagi berserak ni ke,but...sebaliknye dia pulak yang sempat buat kerja2 yang tersebut diatas!!binawe betul!Apalagi,biasalah me and my mouth,nag and nag la at him.Lepas tu ade hati member nak cakap,"ma, you tak tau macam mana keje i kat luar tu tau."
Habis tu kita yang kat rumah ni buat ape eh, braiding bulu jembut satu hari ke?

Being a SAHM is fulfilling but it is no joke.I would rather trade places with my hub even for a day.Why not,if you could 'escape' for a while from the naggy spouse,screaming kids, and all the never-ending chores...all you gotta do is come home when all's done and peaceful, chuck the smelly socks and erm,sotong aside,(there's many more that he chucks aside..too long of a list to compile!),alah, macam2 lagi la,malas nak cakap,kalau cakap boleh tersembuh darah tau.

Erm, did i just hear someone suggesting to go ahead with the bobbitting? No? then it must be me...cheers people,be good!

Busy..Malas..Disconnected!

2006-11-09T00:06:00.000+08:00

Rest 'em Eyes.

2006-11-02T08:05:00.000+08:00

Fatisha was having a difficult night again, so what's new you say, but it wasn't that bad last night as she managed to doze off minutes before midnight,only this time i don't need darl's magic touch to send her to lullaby's world.

As per usual, she would wake up ard 3 to 4 hours later for her feed, except, i was too tired/sleepy to see her finishing the 60 ml of milk up,so i passed the bottle to darl to carry out the duty while i tried to continue my slumber.but, about 10 minutes on, i heard her cried, which to me was pretty unusual, given any other days, she would knock off even before i could try to make her burp, in another word she is usually easy at this hour.

So,curiously i went to check on her and only to find out that dearest daddy was soundly asleep with the bottle of milk still full,tucked nicely right in between them.Oh yes,the very first thing i thought i needed to do was to yakk at the daddy, but looking at the wee hour of the morning i decided to just wish i could bobbitt his penis off.If Lorena had tossed the penis out of her car window,it wouldn't be much of a problem for me to just chuck 'em off the window nearby.. wait,no! i should wrap the severed penis nicely and put in one cute cosmetic bag, probably a hello kitty ones and placed it at a corner of Somerset MRT station (since Orchard's is already overrated,grrr).

Oh yes,suddenly the evil,heartless Lorena sets in me.If Lorena's reason for cutting off her husband's penis was because he was selfish enough for not giving her an orgasm,in my statement would probably be written as, 'for not feeding the baby milk that the wife has painfully sacrificed her sleep to make'.lol!

Ok,ok..silly,gross joke aside,before you report me to any authority,telling 'em i have an evil intention of bobbitting my Darl's penis, i better get back to the actual FACT story!

So, Fatisha was crying non-stop after that,angry maybe, coz it went on till 7 am.Yup, you read it right,7 bloody a.m!! So, i decided to bathe her a little earlier today,swaddled,fed her milk and let(by this time,the daddy's wide awake,with a guilty look on his face.bluek!)daddy shushed her to sleep while i gave a head start to my chores and did the laundry.Why am i blogging now? Am waiting for the washing machine to beep la! What am i gonna do after this? Bobbitt my Darl?

Hang the laundry up for drying la....!hehehehehe

Wot a morning!!!Cheerios everyone!

Bossanova

2006-11-01T15:25:00.000+08:00

Am having a short break now.Both Siddiq and Tisha are in Zzzz land.All else's done except i have to think of what to cook for dinner and of course tend to the lil babe later (all the babes in actual fact!).

What is a break without my favourite drink..well my sis was kind enough to drop by last week and passed me this

Starbucks Choco Drink

a week gone, and im only left with this much!

Yes,that's how fast me, being a choc junkie can finished it up (hint,hint>>Adikkk!).

I love Starbucks' hot choco drink especially the newly improvised flavoured one from them..rich,dark and so melt in the mouth....

ok,so it's not as tantalising as those barista's one la!

but i'm still bumped for it..cheers!

On a totally different note(not really!), do you know that chocolate is known to be an aphrodisiac?! *ehem* ok,ok i'm gonna cut all the hoopla now and bring in the laundry coz it looks moody in the sky right now.chet!

Hari Raya Confinement!!

2006-10-31T14:00:00.000+08:00

Hari Raya this year wasn't much of a celebration for me as i am still under confinement.But nevertheless, i still langgar the term and went ahead to visit my dad and my in law on the first day.

The rest of that day was spent at home with Fatisha, while Darl brought the three kids out for visiting.This is so far the most boring Hari Raya for me coz all i did was watching the ~~black~~ silver box with ongoing raya's programmes which as you know most of it has been repeated over the years umpteen times!But it was alright la..i am still recuperating what!

So here are the pictures of our 'unglamorous' Raya ever..tsk!tsk!

PINK!!

2006-10-31T02:54:00.000+08:00

Ok, so i am in a pink mood..cannot ijit??Well, as we can see the time is now 0248hrs.Yes, Fatisha is having one of those sleepless nights again but thanks to Darl for rocking the tiny one to sleep..i donno how he did it coz i managed to go to slumberland for 2hrs.

Juz woke up, had a warm shower, and here i am updating a 'lil bit before i steal another sleep till her next feeding time.Will be posting the Hari Raya pics up soon..

Oh ya, i know this come a 'lil tad too late but Selamat Hari Raya to all,Maaf Zahir dan Batin! Ok, bobok time,cet!

Bundle of Joy

2006-10-22T22:19:00.000+08:00

The much awaited sweetheart has finally arrived....

Nur Fatisha Binte Irwan Hardi....

Born on the 16th October, 22:35hr, weighing at 3.54kg....

We welcome our latest addition in the family, thanks to almighty for this bundle of joy....

Alhamdulillah, everything went well except for some hiccups.But both baby and myself are doing well.The labour was an easy one.It took me less than 4 hours in labour.No tear,no epi,no evil gas...i was one cool preggo in pain,haha.We were discharged on Wednesday.For the first two nights ay home,she was not able to sleep well,maybe due to adjustment,but it left me and darl feeling oh so tired but everything went fine on the third night,lets see how it goes tonight.yikes!

So until the next update,i need my rest now before her feeding time, which is less than 2 hours from now..bubbye!:)

Oh ya, and this came off on the 4th day....

what you say? It is the dried up cord la!

My Hero

2006-10-11T21:39:00.000+08:00

After going through an agonised labour pain with the twins i told darl, that would be all i could produce for him.But who would know, 3 years down the road, i was expecting again.I searched for my maternal instinct within me but i just wasn't ready for another one.I dreaded the pregnancy for the first 3 months,but it all changed on the forth month.The month when we got to know the gender of our baby.When my gynae told us we were expecting a boy,imagined how excited we were...that's when the maternal side of me kicked in.

My second pregnancy was not as smooth as my first.I got to experience morning sickness, gastric pain and everything else associated with preggies. There was even times when my gastric pain became so severe that i thought i was gonna die..seriously!

So,on the Friday of 16th May 2003, i gave birth to him. The labour was an excruciating one coz he was one big baby,weighing at a hefty 3.97kg!! But, it was all so worth it.

So here..3 years on,he is STILL the hero..the darling..the baby.. in the house.He is the other man who sleeps with me, loves to twiddle with my hands all the time,asked him whose baby he belongs to,and his replied would be "baby mama". Oh,we did so much together when daddy's at work and kakak's at school.

And now, the bun in my oven is almost ready to pop out..so let me have this ~~final~~ moment with my hero, squash him ever so tight before i have to divide my attention to yet another one.

My darling,and officially the only hero....Nur Assidiq Shaqur.Smooch!

Happy Children's Day!

2006-09-30T22:55:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!

Hope you guys are happy with all the goodies mama and ayah has bought..luv you as always my dearies,smooch..smooch!

"Fast" the Test

2006-09-24T23:35:00.000+08:00

Today marked the first day of Ramadhan.I was pretty sure that my preggy self wont deter me from fasting (Fidyah not cheap,hokay!).Even being down with flu and mild bronchitis,i was determined i could get by this first day,but,as afternoon creeps,my fever got even higher and there goes my first day ...

Just for a freaking couple of paracetamol!!Boo-hoo me..
Tak puasa,tapi macam orang puasa jugak la coz apart from the drugs and a glass of water,i didnt consume anything else as i slept through the afternoon.

At 5pm,we received a call from my MIL asking us to come along to Wan's paternal grandparent's.With my half spinning head and super duper warm body,we went..
Upon breaking fast,I apalagi,join sekaki la..lapar oi!There's a wide spread of food,but too bad my Lumix just sat warmly in my bag..so no pics.
Anyways, i do hope to get better by tomorrow,am gonna try again,Insyaallah.Am signing off with these pics taken yesterday.*POOF*

Fried Kuay teow that we had yesterday

brought the kids to Sembawang Park,Well, am not in the pic coz i was busy being the camera person!!Duhh!

game arcade @ Sembawang S.C

my small be-berd

my big be-berd

That's all folks..Selamat Berpuasa!

TOO-DLES..

'Blood'y Day

2006-09-14T19:10:00.000+08:00

Today i had 2 separate appointments with KKH.
One was as early as 8:30am,for my Glucose Tolerance Test.Tell you, i can puke blood drinking those gross glucose syrup drink which is extremely sweeeeet! Wan was damn irritated upon seeing me drinking it so slowly and told me to just gulp it down...bloody hell, i swear i could just pour the whole cup on him!!Then i was told i still can't consume any food nor drinks for another 2 more hours, as though having to fast myself for the last 12 hours wasn't enough..ceh! Then the next appointment was at 1:50pm.The result was good,which means i don't have diabetes la.Again i was poked.By the time we left the hospital, i already so lembik nak mampos. We finally reached home almost 5:00pm,dah la hujan,apalagi..dua2 pengsan!!

Being at my 34th weeks now is really no big joke,my feet are getting more swollen by days due to water retention, the toilet became your bestfriend...the nose mula nak main kembang kuncup,AND the nipples..oh you don't wanna know about it!!
The doctor was telling me that though i'm only in my 34th weeks,my baby is actually quite big and anytime i should be prepared coz this is my third pregnancy,and it can be earlier than the EDD..so i better start packing.

Ok la..i guess that's it for today's entry,da tak larat da ni!
*poof*

Hmmm....

2006-09-13T14:38:00.000+08:00

I noticed he was going "tsk","tsk" all the time since having the Sony Ericsson w800i phone.I knew straight away the phone would be 'gone' pretty soon.

Being a gadget freak, and true to my expectation....

he changed his phone to this within days.

Nokia 9300i

But does the "tsk","tsk" stopped? Not really..What's the prob now Bie?

Cravings

2006-09-12T17:23:00.000+08:00

So for the past couple of days i've been craving for this....

:

:

:

:

:
For 2 days in a row i chowed on this, now im one satisfied preggo!!!

Sunday?

2006-09-10T22:09:00.000+08:00

Today's the last day of the school term break.I was busy of course preparing my girl's stuff..uniform la, stationaries la..bla,bla,bla

but today's an exception,i COOK! not that i've just learnt to do so, but it has been quite awhile since i last meddled with the kitchen appliances.

So today's menu was....

Lemak Cili Padi!

Kalu dulu boleh la masak dua,tiga lauk tapi sekarang dah tengah sarat2 ni,masak satu lauk je macam nak pengsan!
Today too i just managed to do a round of washing the laundries,bukan malas, tapi hujan la! 'Sun'day ke tu?? *roll eyes*

BROKEback Baby!

2006-09-08T23:51:00.000+08:00

This month is sure Wan's koyak month...but once in awhile it is a true indulgence for the whole family.So,since he's feeling richie rich, we bought some gifts for the kids,or should i say EVERYONE!

Nike watches for our girls

motorised bike for Siddiq

and of course for the man himself....

a Sony Ericsson W800i!!

As for me, i've already got my Lumix,remember?

Steve Irwin

2006-09-05T19:36:00.000+08:00

1962-2006

Steve Irwin,or also famously known as the Crocodile Hunter died on 3rd Sept after he was stung by a stingray during a documentary shoot.Of all animals...haiz! kesian betul!

My Toy

2006-09-01T01:42:00.000+08:00

Panasonic Lumix! well 'cept mine is in PINK coz black is outta stock,ceh! But sexy jugak la.Wan bising,but "in right ear,out left ear" ajelah!!

A 'Lil Better

2006-07-25T13:57:00.000+08:00

im so thankful to have such great people around me at this time around where my days aren't running smoothly.Thanks to my in-laws for the emotional support that i needed,my dad for consolling me, my sis for coming over despite her hectic day at work.,and of course not forgetting my three lil angels who has been behaving very well!

Thanks guys for making my shitty days a better one.

You know, it can be a major catastrophe when a housewife is down..so you gonna need aplenty of backups in order to get back to your feet again.

Yes, i was hurt.BUt i will be okay...

*poof*

pain,pain go away

2006-07-17T00:36:00.000+08:00

I missed cooking so much, so i decided to cook curry chicken today,despite my swollen feet(and nipples too!)and terrible backache,i endured that 1 hour long process in the kitchen.It turned out ok for me(like i said, i don't really enjoy my own cooking at this stage),but as usual,the kids and hubby do enjoy it very much coz' you can't go wrong if curry has been dubbed as one of the most favourite dish in my household,tho' it can go extremely wrong when the food touches this preggie tastebuds! Macam2 kan karenah orang lagi mengandung ni,semuanye tak kena.

being a gay is not the issue

2006-07-15T13:41:00.000+08:00

i was browsing the web aimlessly a moment ago when i suddenly was 'stuck' at this particular blogger page.Interesting,i thought, but as i read on, goosebumps was literally all over me. Not that i give a shit about gay relationship,but it seems sick enough if you are a Muslim, and to spread your very detailed dirty 'lil secret on the web. Yes, by having your own blog page you are very much entitled to have your say, but c'mon, if you are gonna say things like how u regretted or that you have repented,that i can take it.But it seem this guy is so darn proud of what he has done or doing.Conservative? hey, i was happy for Elton John when he got hitched (tho' gross to think of it).On a lenient scale, i can comprehend and empathise to what's going through this (sick) blogger have in mind,but on another note,he is just your ordinary sick pervert.May his dick be stuck on the other man's anal one day!

weekend break

2006-07-09T04:52:00.000+08:00

i've been in the 'lazing' mode nowadays,and that explains the lag of blogging.Actually not only that im lagging with - i don't cook that often anymore coz i hate my own cooking (for now),luckily my dear hubby is understanding enough for all the 'tapao' food.I do the laundry once every two days, coz' i have to hang the clothes indoor now, which can sometimes take up to two bloody days to dry it out completely!In the afternoon ,after sending my girls to school,i basically just bummed around with my little man watching Nickelodeon.Come evening,i will have my dinner with the kids,clean the house a lil' bit,then prepare double mattresses out in the living room so i can bummed around AGAIN with my 3 lil' people.Gee, i hope this pregnancy will be over soon,it really slowing my energy down.Grrrr... my Nickelodeon buddies!

the good news is...

2006-06-22T17:43:00.000+08:00

So now let me finally announced to this cyber space of mine- I'M PREGNANT!! it was an unintended one.Thought we would juz have settled at three but hey,"accident" happens you know!But, of course the joyous person of all is my mom in law-maybe 'coz
she ever did ask me for one more.So here i am being impregnated again by my beloved hubby.Im in my 6 months now,and enduring every moment of irritating heartburns and body aches.Hope everything goes well,and i shall update soon.